My husband died suddenly two years ago but I still love him with all my heart. Since then I’ve lost weight and I’m now a size 10 (I used to be a size 14 to 16). I need an outfit for a christening but I’m 56, 5ft 3in and not confident about what to wear as I’m usually a jeans, trainers and T-shirt person. Help!
Your longer letter is so descriptive, it seems like yesterday that you lost your husband. There’s a part of us that wants to stand still after a loved one dies, but clearly your body has changed. While many women might be happy to lose weight, I can appreciate that the woman you were with your husband isn’t who you are today.
Perhaps the christening is a good opportunity for you to make peace with your new figure, and even embrace it. You’re going to church, so look for a dress in a block colour that falls just to the knee. Avoid anything strappy and opt for something that covers the shoulders and upper arms, such as Coast’s Lexi wrap dress or luxury workwear brand The Fold’s Camelot dress. Both of these feature flattering details that will discreetly show off your shape. Team them with Sole Bliss’s snakeprint slingbacks, which are built for comfort – essential if you’re not used to wearing heels.
I also wonder whether now is the time for you to go on an adventure to the hairdresser and zhoosh up your style. You could consider having some warm lowlights to give it a subtle lift. If the idea of going shopping is too daunting, a new hairdo and the simplest outfit may be the new look you want.
I’m thinking about…
My grandfather Sir John Duncanson’s crest, which my sister found recently. He designed it with the motto ‘For ever hopeful’ (he worked in the shipyards and became head of British Steel). It reminds me not to worry about what’s behind that closed door – it could be something amazing.
My one-minute eyelid lift
I swear by this: take two fingers and place them on the middle of each eyebrow. Push your fingers up towards your forehead, applying hard pressure. Now try to close your eyes. Open and close them 30 times in quick succession. It’s very effective.
Hello multitasking holiday kaftan!
By day I wear this with a straw hat. In the evening, I turn it round and tie a belt through the arm holes, fastening it at my waist. Suddenly it’s a dress! Around £75, pitusa.co.
Have you tried… a crystal sound bath?
I recently had a mad week of late nights, early starts and rushing around. I was exhausted, but I’d heard that a crystal sound bath could help. This is where a ‘sound specialist’ plays a series of quartz crystal bowls – hitting them gently with a mallet or running a wand around the rim – until the sound reaches 528 megahertz. It sounds odd, but the frequency affects your brainwaves, promoting calm. It’s a great alternative to meditating as the volume blocks out the white noise in your head. My 45-minute session began with a guided meditation and then the bowls got louder until I almost started to vibrate. It was quite overwhelming, but I felt a total release of stress, and was left looking as though I’d had a facelift. crystalsoundlounge.com.