As you are reading this my boyfriend is delirious with joy, ecstatic with relief. Why? Well, dear readers, this is my final column. The last time I’ll expose our sexploits, his penchant for toddler teatimes and his one-man battle to get one over on the energy provider by keeping his house on the ‘Siberian’ setting.
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I took ownership of the keys to the vicarage on Wednesday. My car was packed to the rafters, mainly with Diptyque candles, Iittala glassware – the essential stuff. Nic followed on behind with a vacuum cleaner, my carpet cleaner and Mini Puppy. I was very stressed. We all know that houses, stripped of furniture, look ghastly. I was prepared. I swore I would not cry or get depressed.