Oh, how we love a beauty box. We know it’s basically sacrilege to mention the ‘C’ word so early, but with *whispers* Christmas only a few months away, brands have been revealing their beauty advent calendars already. Needless to say, we’re in equal parts excited and astounded by what’s on offer. And just when we thought we couldn’t handle anymore incoming beauty treats, NEOM Organics revealed its mystery box is back in stock.
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It was the final straw, the pointless argument that was the nail in the coffin of my disastrous on/off, mostly pen-pal friendship with David 1.0. You simply cannot call what we have been resuscitating every now and then a ‘relationship’, given we’ve not had sex since October, and then it was disappointing. The vintage physical contact took place in my lovely room at the Rosewood hotel in London, where I was staying for work. He had brought sex toys and a blindfold, so there was no skin on skin, no actual kissing, merely him rummaging, as though wanting to find Marmite in the back of a cupboard. I was not aroused. Instead I felt annoyed at the blindfold, given I could no longer admire the twinkling erotic edifice that is the London Shard.