When I was single in my late 30s, I went through a spate of online dating. I signed up to the relevant apps. I chose profile photos that were flattering yet approachable. I pretended I had hobbies. I completed the biographical Q&As in what I hoped was a witty manner, despite the increasingly esoteric nature of the questions. ‘What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?’ was one of them. I agonised over it for several minutes before scheduling an answer some time in late 2019.
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I text David to tell him I’m so nervous about moving and marrying him that I wake at 4am every day, stomach churning. Even the dogs are still snoring. I’ve never been vulnerable like this with him before. I have always put on a brave face, leaving him to read about my insecurities later. But he surprises me by being incredibly supportive.