TELL TRINNY: ‘Netflix is killing our romance’

My relationship with my other half has lost its spark. We’ve been dating for three years and recently moved in together. I love him but our day-to-day routine – household tasks, watching Netflix night after night – is starting to feel quite humdrum. I miss the excitement of our early days. What would you do, Trinny? 
Kate, Cheltenham

Steve Schofield

There are many reasons why a relationship can feel stale – routines are easy to fall into and sometimes, after a hard day, tuning into the latest TV show can seem preferable to tuning into our partner. At times like this it is good to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Ask yourself, what was it about him? Is it still there? If it is, work on some couple time that doesn’t involve the TV.

However, I do wonder if it is you that feels stale and if perhaps it’s time to make more of an effort for yourself? Exercise, do things that make you feel good and get back some of your old spark. The bonus is that we all like being around people who have a positive vibe and that in itself can remind someone of why they fell in love with us. Wear lipstick for supper, wash your hair even when you feel it’s only your partner so why bother? You’re doing it for you, too. And don’t forget to talk – remind each other how invested you are in your ups and downs, career path or new project.

Consider letting go of trying to rekindle the early thrilling days of your courtship – a long term relationship brings other benefits, such as security and comfort. Instead, focus on finding ways to be intimate. Touch is so important. Do you cuddle when you watch TV or kiss each other goodnight? It’s easy to grow apart in bed, but that’s the place where we need to feel the closest. But if you can’t shake off your ‘rut’ mindset, instead of making things exciting again, you need to assess how strong your relationship really is.

My wear-forever classics

Bright, bold and with pearly cuffs, this Zara jumper goes with everything and, because it’s slightly stretchy, it fits all body types.

I am loving this maxi dress. It’s made of jersey and has the added comfort of a built-in bra.

I can’t travel without…

Anya Hindmarch’s in-flight cases are clear so I manage to get through security with minimum fuss.

The Foreo Luna Play Facial Cleansing Brush is an utter delight. It has the thrust of the full-size version and enough power for 100 uses.

Cosmedix Rescue+ Balm & Mask is the best barrier against dry cabin air. My skin is plumped up like a baby’s when the plane lands.

Wearing dove grey when I’m flying makes me happy. My grey cashmere Zara blanket always goes in my hand luggage.

This really inspired me

Nils Jorgensen/REX/Shuttersto​ck

‘I love it when I learn from the people who work for me’. That’s what Sarah Wood, the CEO of tech company Unruly, said when asked what she loves about her job. One of Debrett’s top 500 influential people in Britain, she is definitely someone to listen to.

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