TELL TRINNY: ‘Help, I’m stuck in a rut!’

I’m in my late 30s and I’ve got career FOMO (fear of missing out). I look at friends, and even some colleagues, and everyone else seems to be doing much better at their jobs than me. They also seem to be earning more. I’m worried about being stuck in a rut, but comparing myself to the people around me is just sapping my confidence.
Hannah, Bristol

Steve Schofield

Looking from the outside, our sense of how well someone’s life is going compared to our own doesn’t take into account how they feel inside, and what pressure and misery they too might feel that you do not see. Try not to compare – you’re just seeing a one-sided view. I want to know, do you feel happy in your job? If so just get over this. But if your work FOMO is a daily occurrence, then maybe it’s time to focus on where you’re at in your career.

Are you contributing enough at work? Have you become lazy? Are you just cruising? Is your skill set underappreciated? It’s never too late to take stock and ask yourself if you are happy in this career, or whether you’d prefer to be in another one – and if so, can you learn the required skills? How hard are you really trying? Is it time to take that tiny idea inside your head and break it out for all to see, so the dream of what might have been can come to light?

I had FOMO in my 20s: I had switched my career a few times and my friends were getting on with things, while I had a different job every year and a half. One day I thought, ‘What do I really want to do?’ A year later I met Susannah Constantine and had a lucky break. Ironically I ended up being paid more by following my passion.

Visually reinventing yourself could also help you get out of this rut. Does your image reflect where you are today or who you want to be? Try wearing more colour, or simply change your shoes – I love these Charles & Keith block-heel mules (right). So you might fail, but you will have tried, and when your new project or job is your baby, my God, you will really try everything. And if you have the determination, you might have a chance of fulfilling that dream.

Yep, I’m obsessed…

I’m still just about OK to wear this classic sundress!

This chic circular straw bag is divine.
£75, French Connection

I love this sexy señorita swimsuit.
£29.99, Zara

Really pretty and so comfortable – I’ve found my summer shoe.
£149, Kurt Geiger London, Selfridges

I really think you should…

Eat this
I’ll get through a whole bar in one sitting.
Raw Halo Mylk & Salted Caramel, from £2.79, 

Spritz that
The uplifting clary sage and calming tuberose essential oils changed my mood today.
Ilapothecary Beat the Blue Room Spray, £28,

Buy this
Castor oil is incredible for strengthening lashes – I use a cotton bud to apply it.
Pukka Castor Oil, £9.99, Holland and Barrett

What I’m telling myself this month

‘Keep grinding. Keep hustling – all the cliche s***. But most of all, figure yourself out.’
Wise words from US entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee). He’s incredibly motivational and the only person on Instagram whose quotes I like.

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