QUICKFIRE: TV’s Supervet Noel Fitzpatrick on strange cures, royal mishaps and his moment with Bono


Guilty pleasure? Halloumi, although I can never cook it exactly right.

Where is home? I grew up in Ballyfin, Ireland, which will always be home, but I live mainly at my practice in Surrey. I have a house nearby, but don’t have the time to go there.

Career plan B? A guitarist or a drummer. My dream would be to fill in for the Edge in U2.

Who would play you in a movie of your life? Meryl Streep.

Biggest bugbear? People who pretend to be what they’re not.

As a child you wanted to… Save all animals from pain. I grew up on a farm and saw animals in tragic situations, but felt helpless.

Secret to a happy relationship? Pick the right one.

Your best quality? Not knowing what impossible is.

And your worst? Churning over the past and wishing I could have done things better.

Most romantic thing you’ve ever done? Plan the location for a proposal that hasn’t happened yet – that’s all I’m prepared to say.

Last meal on earth? Anything with beetroot – beetroot is where it’s at.

Dream dinner-party guests? Bono, a big hero of mine, Shakespeare, Martin Luther King Jr, Oscar Wilde, Sir David Attenborough, Robert De Niro, James Cameron, Dr Johan Marais, who saves rhinos in Africa, and Jesus.

Advice to teenage self? Don’t major in minor things.

Cat or dog? Both, but I would add a goat and a hedgehog to the mix.

Starstruck moment? Bumping into Bono in a washroom in Cannes. I wanted to say ‘Hi’, but it didn’t seem like the right place. I was nervous as hell – I peed on my hand.

Career highlight? When I was honoured by University College Dublin in 2014 for my contribution to veterinary medicine, I got the host to present the award to my mum. It was a wonderful moment.

Most embarrassing moment? Kicking over the Queen’s handbag when I was invited to Buckingham Palace for lunch.

Favourite tipple? Irish cider.

Hangover cure? An electrolyte powder for treating diarrhoea in calves definitely worked when I was in practice in Ireland in 1992 – seriously.

One thing that would make your life better? The eradication of both time and money.

Philosophy? Use your demons to fuel your angels.

Biggest lesson you have learnt about money? It’s always weaker than love.

Last film that made you cry? Logan, with Hugh Jackman.

Where would you time-travel to? The moment when life first appeared on Earth but I would want two passengers, Charles Darwin and God, with me.

First record? U2’s The Unforgettable Fire, my favourite album of all time. Most extravagant purchase? A black Aston Martin Vantage that I had for less than a year. I sold it to fund a vet who has just finished her residency programme at the practice after six years.

Celebrity crush? Hugh Jackman.

Happiness is… My border terrier Keira, some cider and my future wife sitting under a chestnut tree on the most beautiful spring day.

Noel will host DogFest 2018 at Cholmondeley Castle, Cheshire (16-17 June), Ashton Court, Bristol (23-24 June) and Knebworth House, Hertfordshire (7-8 July). For more details and tickets, visit dog-fest.co.uk

Interview by John Koski