If you were asked to think about reasons why a marriage would end in divorce, you’d naturally assume it would be due to the couple arguing a lot or spending extended periods of time apart. But scientists have revealed the REAL reason why many couples get divorced, and it’s extremely surprising.
In a new study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, scientists observed 168 couples over a 13 year period and found out that there was a direct link between divorce and the couples who were extremely affectionate towards each other in the first few years of their matrimony.
“As newlyweds, the couples who divorced after seven or more years were almost giddily affectionate, displaying about one-third more affection than did spouses who were later happily married,” the authors wrote.
According to the findings theses couples were often disillusioned about their relationships and their spouses’ qualities during the honeymoon stage of their marriage, so once this was over, these couples couldn’t necessarily deal with the challenges of life as a couple.
The study shows that it’s easy to love and be loved in return when everything’s going smoothly, but when the going gets tough, your partner may be more difficult or less readily-available than you previously saw. Are you strong enough as a couple to withstand the rough, less lovey-dovey, patches?
The study also states that in order to establish a “stable marital bond,” couples need to display a continuous and measured amount of affection rather than a highly-charged, intense type that is more likely to burn out. Of course, everyone wants passion but for it to last a lifetime, it needs to be realistic and able to weather difficulties.
You’ll be relieved to hear that some things are how we expect though, as being unaffectionate, fighting and spending time apart isn’t the recipe for success either – those types of couples were also found to have a higher chance of divorce. Like all things in life, you should aim for balance.