1 in 4 pregnancies in the UK will end in miscarriage, but as common as they are, finding the words to support someone who’s been through one isn’t easy. This is especially true when it comes to sending something in the post – typically in a shop, you’ll only find cards with messages like ‘Congratulations’ or ‘It’s a girl’.
But a miscarriage charity in the UK aims to change this, and has rolled out a special set of empathy cards to recognise and honour pregnancy loss.
‘There’s no good card for this. I’m so sorry for your loss,’ reads one of the cards that was introduced on 17 April, as another says: ‘This is the worst but I’ve got your back and your front and everything in between’.
Ruth Bender Atik, national director of the Miscarriage Association believes that is ‘shocking’ that most stores don’t stock cards to recognise miscarriage, and says the cards ‘give words to those friends and loved ones who can’t find them.’
‘Losing a pregnancy is heartbreaking and can be very lonely. Close family and friends often don’t know what to say, say the wrong thing, or just say nothing at all.’
The cards were approved by a panel of women who have been through miscarriage themselves, and the details of the charity are included inside, putting help and support directly into the hands of the person who needs it the most.
Miscarriages can be an intensely painful and lonely experience. Due to the taboo around the subject, friends and family often don’t know how best to offer messages of empathy.
Natasha Necati, who has had eight miscarriages, said she received callous and insensitive remarks like: ‘Sorry for your loss, but at least you know you can get pregnant’ and: ‘Don’t worry, you’re still young,’ whereas others just didn’t say anything at all.
Necati said she would have loved to have received the cards when she experienced her miscarriages.
‘I especially like the one that says “I wish this wasn’t happening to you. I don’t know what to say. But I promise I am here for you.” It says it all.’
The miscarriage empathy cards are stocked at PostMark London stores and online (postmarkonline.co.uk/).