Learn to speak teen

Struggling to keep up with the youth of today? Michael Hogan decodes the lingo you need to know.

AHLIE An expression of agreement or confirmation. Example of correct usage: ‘Your mum won’t get this.’ ‘Ahlie.’

BET Shorthand for ‘You bet’. Common usage: ‘Wanna go* Nando’s?’
‘Bet.’
*Important note: do not use ‘to’ in this communication. Prepositions are extremely ageing.

BLITZ Not war but weather. Can be escalated to ‘blitzkrieg’ but you still won’t get them to wear a coat.

speak teen
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CD9 Short for Code 9, meaning: ‘Can’t talk now, my mum’s here.’ Can be abbreviated to ‘9’ or alternated with the acronym ‘POS’ (parents over shoulder).

DOGGO/DOGE One minute your teen can’t be bothered with full words, the next they’re augmenting them. What’s wrong with ‘dog’?

FLEX To flaunt or show off as you would a muscle: ‘She’s flexing about her exam results.’ Mortify your teen by applying it to your world: ‘Dad’s flexing about his cordless hedge trimmer.’

GOAT When Strictly judge Craig Revel Horwood used the term (meaning Greatest of All Time) last series, he got blank looks from everyone born before 1991.

HUNDO P Means 100 per cent sure, certain: ‘Do you definitely fancy him?’
‘Hundo P.’

ICK When you suddenly go off someone, you’ve got ‘the ick’: ‘He wore flip-flops to the pub. I got the ick.’

LENG Something or someone good-looking. An upgrade on its forerunner ‘peng’. The two can even be combined into ‘peng-a-leng’.

LIT Formerly slang for pleasantly drunk but now means anything exciting (‘That party was lit’). Can be accompanied by flaming emojis as required.

NO CAP Not lying – the equivalent of ‘for real’ or ‘straight up’. Garnish this with a baseball cap emoji.

OG Stands for ‘original gangster’ but used for anything seen as classic and authentic. If your teen honours you with this description, you are definitely winning.

SPILL THE TEA ‘Tea’ is the act of gossip, so ‘spill the tea’ means to share the latest juicy news.

THICC Fat in all the right places. A muscly man can be a ‘thiccboi’ but also ‘swole’ or ‘hench’. If intimidatingly large, he can even be an ‘absolute unit’.

THIRSTY Overly desperate for approval or compliments. A blatantly attention-seeking social media post can be a ‘thirst trap’.

WE MOVE If something goes wrong, ‘we move’ means to get over it and carry on: ‘I got fired from the coffee shop but, hey, we move.’

YEET An expression of excitement or surprise thought to be a mix of ‘Yes!’ and ‘All right!’. Can be employed when executing a killer dance move. Go on, you know you want to…

ZUMPING Dumping a lover over Zoom. If your teen is moodier than usual then maybe they’ve just been ‘zumped’. Probably don’t ask.

EMOJI-O-METER

WHAT’S IN

coffinYou’re dying laughing

fireSomething is ‘lit’ – meaning exciting

fishingAcknowledging you’re fishing for validation

WHAT’S OUT

thumbs upVoted the uncoolest emoji by under-30s

red heartMonochrome hearts are much more now

tickStop treating life like a giant to-do list