Last November, Jessie J revealed on Instagram that she had experienced a miscarriage. The post was soon deleted, with the singer explaining ‘I posted about losing my baby just hours after I was told. I reacted in work mode. It’s safe to say I sometimes pour more energy into creating an unhealthy process of my own pain in front of a camera, than I do acknowledging it behind one in real time. “The show must go on” mentality reacted before the human in me did.’
Now, Jessie has opened up about the difficult experience in the ‘most heart-wrenchingly raw episode to date’ on Steven Bartlett’s Diary Of A CEO podcast, saying she had ‘never felt so lonely’ after her miscarriage.
In the episode, Jessie shared details of her experience: ‘I just knew something wasn’t the same,’ she said, explaining she didn’t ‘feel right’.
The singer went to a doctor immediately, where an ultrasound revealed a cause for concern.
Jessie explained: ‘There was that dreadful silence when you first have a scan and I was like, “Just tell me the truth – what’s going on?” and she said, “Your baby’s heartbeat is very low and there’s this ring,” and I said, “Well what does that mean?”
‘She said: “It often means your baby will have some type of disability or deformity… the baby’s heartbeat is very weak.” I said, “But it’s still there?” She said, “Yeah, it’s still there.”‘
In the episode, Jessie then became tearful as she revealed a second scan showed the baby had no heartbeat. ‘He did another scan and he said, “I’m really sorry there’s no heartbeat.” That [scan] was within three or four hours of the first one.’
Jessie went on to say: ‘I felt like I’d been given everything I’d ever wanted and then someone had gone: “But you can’t have it.” I’ve never felt so lonely in my life.’
In her now-deleted Instagram post that followed the miscarriage, Jessie explained to fans she had decided to have the baby on her own, because it was all she’d ‘ever wanted and life is short’.