Houseplants are big business these days. According to the Flowers & Plants Association, the UK’s flower and indoor plant market is worth a staggering £2.2bn, and you can barely glance at an Instagram feed without seeing an array greenery sunning itself on a carefully curated shelf or windowsill. The hashtag #plantsofinstagram already has 2.6 million posts (and counting).
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Oh dear. I don’t know why I did this, rashly, the evening of 29 February. Leap Day. I took a leap. Maybe because I have a completion date on the vicarage looming and I need help, someone to share it with, and who is willing to change light bulbs*, heave boxes and dog-sit. Cook.