Editor’s letter: Your hilarious letters are just the tonic I need

This editor’s letter is handed over to you, the brilliant readers of YOU. In my letter of 26 April, I told the story of my disastrous accident, when I tripped over the leg of my flared trousers and ended up in an ambulance as a result. I asked you to send in any similar tales – much like problems, an embarrassment shared is an embarrassment halved and all that. And while I wouldn’t normally make the readers do my work for me, well, there were so many letters that were just too good not to share. Here’s a small selection of my favourites…

Sandra writes: ‘In a supermarket queue, I had rhubarb sticking up out of my shopping basket. I turned to get my purse out of my handbag and the rhubarb went between the legs of the elderly lady in front, who was wearing a voluminous pleated skirt. Her reaction was truly memorable – ‘Oooooooooooooh!!!’ in a high-pitched scream. It was an occasion for fervent apology but I couldn’t keep a straight face. The look I got was also memorable.’

George was nearly felled by his own sword – and on his wedding day! ‘It was 22 June, 1974. I was a young pilot officer and arranged a guard of honour for our village wedding. My friends and I had no experience with swords, but we looked splendid. During the service, my bride Jan and I were required to move up the steps and as we both knelt down, I forgot I was wearing the sword and scabbard. The sword touched down first. I was catapulted to the right, only just managing to stay upright. The priest glared. But Jan smiled.’

Carol’s story could be an episode of Mr Bean: ‘I was visiting a colleague in hospital who had a serious back injury so was lying flat. After standing to talk to him for some time, I walked across the room to get a chair. I tripped over the leg of my wide-leg trousers. The bridge of my nose hit the chair’s metal arm and knocked me out. I came to with blood streaming from my nose and my white blouse now red. A nurse cleaned me up as much as she could. My colleague said at first he thought I’d decided to go home as I just disappeared! I had a broken nose and two black eyes.’

But it’s Sue who really made me laugh out loud. ‘It was the 1980s, and I put on my favourite nightie for bed: a long dark green one with ruffles I’d had since the 70s. My somewhat hirsute husband objected, saying it caught on his body hair, but I wasn’t going to be dictated to. I was a deep sleeper and I woke up the next morning, naked. I turned over to see him wearing the nightie. I lay there for five minutes, first perplexed and then alarmed. I wondered if I’d married a transvestite without realising it. With trepidation I woke him to ask him why he’d taken it off me. His answer? “I bet you don’t like the feel of it, either!” That nightie has been at the bottom of my wardrobe ever since, but I can’t throw it out – I still love it!’

The lesson is clear for us all: approach fashion with extreme caution. No readers were (permanently) harmed in the creation of these excellent stories, but I love you all for sending them and sharing the much-needed laughs right now.

Editor’s picks

A few things I’m coveting this week

A forever dress – sandals in summer, tights and a poloneck in winter. Dress, £125, arket.com

Paraben- and preservative-free… but most importantly, smells heavenly. Candle, £42.95, irisorganics.co.uk

A good dose of lockdown colour – and comfort – from an ethical brand. Dungarees, £54, lucyandyak.com